AHAU. JUNE 6, 2005
were on a road trip for this New Moon painting session, returning
from Calgary where we had attended my grandson Logan's first
birthday celebration. We left Calgary on the morning of the New
Moon and headed west, not knowing exactly where we would end
up. Soon the message came loud and clear that Canyon Hot Springs
just outside of Revelstoke, BC, would be perfect for us.
Teresa: In the last couple of lunations,
we had moved through
the "heavies": Etznab the knife, and Cauac the storm.
I was looking forward to Ahau, solar mind, union, fulfillment.
Images flowed in through daydreams and during the meditation
just before taking up the paintbrushes; images of brilliant light,
mandalas, etheric veils and layers of pastel colors. A vision
moved towards me and I dove in with enthusiasm.
I realized Terry had received a strong message during the meditation,
I assumed a supportive role in order to nurture her impulse.
I became a part of the power behind the creative process she
was channeling through her brush.
Teresa: I felt that the manifestation
on the canvas was not ME, but the primordial union of Yin and
Yang, of feminine and masculine forces. The image, although still
developing, was extremely evocative to me. At one point I felt
a door open up and I entered a magnificent world. The Lightning
Path is a chakra-by-chakra journey and in this 6th Moon,
I felt I had accessed the essence of the 6th chakra: vision.
I was still in the formative stages of visioning, I did not share
T's creative fervor. I became conflicted, feeling that there
needed to be something darker and heavier come into the picture
. I had trouble voicing this because I feared that doing so would
hurt T's feelings. She was swimming in the light and here I was,
calling for something dark and heavy! When I did manage to express
my ideas, my presentation met with considerable resistance. She
had a clear idea of where she was meant to go. Rather than confront
her, I simply withdrew from the struggle. In my mind, the painting
was becoming hers. I worked internally to release myself from
any attachment to being heard.
Teresa: I felt his withdrawal, and , of course,
it was intolerable in light of our intention to co-create. At
this point we stopped painting and sat in meditation. We needed
to understand this shadow which had appeared within all the brilliance
I had been swimming in. I wanted to be sure that it was not due
to anything I was doing or not doing.
Dwayne : I looked deeply into our process and
began to get in touch with my part in the disconnection. I was
assisted in this by the Secret Dakini Oracle. Each of our New
Moon sessions involves randomly drawing one of its 64 cards cards
and the one we had drawn for this occasion was number 26: "Mean
and Heavy". The card refers to Hindu Goddess Kali, the enemy
of illusion, who insists on essential authenticity in all interactions.
This, of course, included our painting process as well.
The question arose:
"How do we love and honor each other without losing respect
for our own path, our own power? "
I suggested that we return to a consideration of our original
rules of engagement:
We take turns with
Each of us has
complete authority to make changes during our turn, no matter
what the other person voices about our actions.
We take whatever
time is reasonable and necessary to complete our act.
During the time
we are not painting, it is incumbent upon us to withhold judgment
or expectation about what the other person is or is not doing.
Rather, we are to
pay close attention to what is actually happening before us in
order to discern clearly where to go when it is our turn again.
Teresa : I proposed an addendum:
We must agree on
whether or not the change being made to the existing image is
furthering the vision, as far as we can see it.
The addendum brought
into focus an issue central to the whole painting process and
forced us to look at our fundamental motivation for participating.
The question arose:
What happens when we begin blank, with no vision, and the
other has such a strong one? .. Is there a place where we can be tentative
with our own journey, still be included, when the other is so
sure of what he or she thinks needs to be done?
I think what finally
happened for us came from just letting go of it all, the ego,
the vision, the concept, even the painting itself.
a single answer to our questions:
of unconditional love between us
over all else.
for larger image)
Path : 6 AHAU
Acrylic on masonite
18 x 24 in.
Dwayne Rourke &
Teresa Wild 2005